A few weeks ago, someone asked me if I was ok, because they hadn’t seen me post anything on Facebook recently. (Something tragic must have happened…??)
There are a number of reasons why I’ve hit the 😦 emoji on Facebook:
- People that gush about their wonderful spouse/partner. That’s never going to end well. Although it’s entertaining when you’re friends with both parties and they split up, posting their passive-aggressive statuses to wind the other up… if you love your partner, can you not just say it to them without tagging 30 other people?
- The ‘I’m having beans on seeded brown toast with kale pulp for lunch’ people. I’m having chicken seasoned in a blend of 12 secret herbs and spices. In a bucket.
- People that post a photo of their lunch. I know what celery looks like, your photo of it doesn’t make it any more appealing to me.
- The ‘I’ve walked 1,000,000,000 steps today and it’s only 9am’ people. But you still have a vile personality. Why don’t you work on that?
- ‘Thank you to my gorgeous husband for my birthday present (insert picture of new BMW or similar)’ but you work with her and know it’s really leased. It’s not a present. It’s not yours.
- The ‘OMG I’m so angry’ fishing for attention statuses – and please, if you’re going to do that, at least post the reason your angry. Don’t just reply to your friend with ‘I’ll pm you’. Why couldn’t you just ‘pm’ them to start with??
- The bestie love-in. No you’re the best. No you’re the best. No, you’re the best… actually, you’re both nasty bitches.
- People that complain they have no money and plead poverty but are always posting pictures of going out/drinking…? Erm, stop that and then you don’t need to borrow money?
- The people who believe if it isn’t on Facebook, it didn’t happen ‘have you been away this year? Yes, we went to Disney world and Vegas… really – I didn’t see it on Facebook?? oh well I must be making it up then…how is your lease car doing?’
- The people who feel their lives aren’t as good as their friends because they don’t get bmws for their birthdays or have a husband who declares his love for his wife every three seconds… you’re too busy comparing yourself to these people that you don’t see that two-thirds of posts are bulls***.
Yes, I know I could have just unfriended these people, but it left me with the realisation that I didn’t need a Facebook account, I needed a diary and a photo album.